Our Eyes Were Put Infront Of Our Heads So We Can Look To Where We Are Going And Not To Where We Have Been

Lately, things in my life have been really strange. I've been getting along with my family GREAT and I actually don't mind coming home anymore. My mom even let me spend the night at someone else's house on Thursday! How amazing is that? We argue a bit but nothing big like it use to be. Everyone is getting along and it's good. My grades at school are great I have all A's and B's and I'm very proud of myself. Senior year is a blessing and a curse all in one. Yes, it's easy and fun this year, but it's also the last time I'll get to see my close friends everyday and that's something I'm truely going to miss. Elyssa told me I'm not allowed to talk about Graduation anymore until it actually happens because I keep making myself and my friends depressed. lol Talking about graduation though, In the fall I'll be going to Hocking college and for all those who don't know where that's at, it is in Nelsonville 15 minutes away from Ohio University. My major is Radiologic Technology....X-ray Technician. I'm nervous about going but I know a few people there so I won't be completely alone and I'm ready for this change in my life. It will be a great experience. Although, I'm not sure at all that r. technology is really what I want to do. To be quite honest, I have no idea what career I want for the rest of my life. So, for now I'm just picking something that I know I'll be good at, pays well, and hocking offers! haha That way I'll have something to do to earn a living while I'm trying to figure out exactly what I do want to do. Moving on, this year has also been a year of finding who my friends are and lately, I've realized...I don't have many. Yes, there are those that I talk to and hang out with sometimes, but I'm talking REAL friends. I love all my friends. I would be 100% lost without Becca and Elyssa and Erika and Eric etc...I'm dreading leaving them next year. They all mean the world to me. But real, true, bail me out of jail friends...only two people take the cake on that one. First of all there is Miss Sara Crawford. I don't even know where to start with her. I've known her since my Freshman year and we've been best friends ever since. We use to spend every single day of the weekend together for months until finally our moms told us it was too much and allowed us only one day. Bummer... We got separated there for awhile when she transfered to Jackson but we recently found each others company to be much needed and joyful again. I know that no matter what road I take in life Sara will be there for me. Maybe not by my side but only a phone call away. She's also one of the funniest fucking people I know! There is so much to say about her and I just can't think right now. She's my better half and I'd kill for her. I'm not sure if you've ever heard this expression but the saying goes....She's my shovel friend. The explaination is this....Sara is the only friend I have that I know I could drive over to her house at 3am, knock on her door, she'd open the door and I'd hand her a shovel and say let's go. She's put shoes on and leave with me....no questions asked. I don't know of anyone else that would willingly leave at 3am and not ask questions as to why they need a shovel haha. The second person that I know I can count on is Mark Centric, a part time lover and a full time friend. Even more so then Sara, I can and do tell Mark anything and everything. He is the only person in my life, past and present, including family, that knows everything about me. I'm sure there are some hidden secrets in there somewhere but he sure as hell knows a significant amount more than the rest. He is my rock. He holds me together. He doesn't even have to say anything, just listen and hold me. Mark is the only person other than family that has seen me cry and the only person other than Sara that I fully trust. That's love. I can't even say that I love Mark because I don't. It goes so much beyond that now and the word love just doesn't seem appropriate anymore. As with Sara, I'm having trouble thinking of all the millions of things I'd love to say about him. I'm gratefull everyday of my life that Mark came over Feb 16th 2006. That was the day my whole life changed. Yes, some for the bad, but mostly for the good. I've done a lot of stupid things with Mark and some things I probably should have said no to but you know something? It was all worth it. I cherish the memories I've had with him good and bad. Life just wouldn't be the same without him. I love the adventure and excitement, the joy and relaxation, and even the pain and sorrow. I take Mark for who he is. Nothing more, nothing less. He knows I support him in anything and everything he does and will do. I trust in him to do the same for me. No matter what happens to either of us in life he is mine and I am his. Maybe not in a romantic or even friendly way, because you never can be too sure what life is going to throw at you, but one way or another, I'm here. Mark is the second most amazing person I've ever met...the first of course being my Uncle. :) We accept each other for who we are and not who we have been and that really means something to me. Plus we put up with all of each tohers bullshit. I don't know anyone else that would do that because god knows we dish it out....A LOT!!! We spoke earlier today and the subject of love came up. He mentioned something about family loving him because they have to and I simply told him exactly. I don't have to love you, it's my choice and I've stuck by that choice throughout everything and always will. Dispite the many times I should have backed away and started over new, I haven't. I stick by the things I believe in and honestly, I believe in us. It's one of the only things I really do truely have faith in. Not much in my world is solid, but Mark and the emotion attacked to him. That's solid and very much real. As I said earlier, I don't really know what I want to do with my life. Maybe I'll be an x-ray technician or a photographer or even are lawyer. Who knows? But the one thing I do know that I want out of life is happiness. Wherever happiness leads me, I will follow. And right now, I'm following Mark and I think I will be for a long time to come. Now, what else is there to say? Emily and Nate are doing well as a married couple and I hear from them about once a week or so. Their latest news is that Emily wants to go back to college to further her degree in about a year when Nate is done with school. The catch is that they are looking to move to Pheonix, AZ or Hawaii. How amazing is that? AND Emily had asked me if I'd want to move to wherever they go with them and....get this.......be a built in nanny!!!!! There is no bun in the oven yet lol but at least they're thinking about it and boy I can't wait! As with college, I'm not sure moving out there with them is what I want to do for a long period of time, but I'd definately like to try it and just escape for awhile. It would be a good change for me. And who knows, maybe by then the change I wanted and was ready for might happen. :) Wishful thinking, I know. Well, I'm sure no one actually read through this all, seeing as how it's about 7 pages long! I'll end it here and comments are always welcome! Thanks for reading.

I love you sweetheart.

~Maggie xoxo